It’s 20 minutes to midnight. Kids are all asleep. I feel peace. A single day without mama. Now she is 300 km away. All felt the strong lack of mama today. I was both papa and mama today. All right. In 8 minutes it’s going to be tomorrow. Good night!
I feel that I am spoiled for this world, but still good for Jesus. That is a mystery to me. Remember the day. Remember all the times I shouted. All the times I missed the mark and understand that there is no way back. I can’t rewind the clock. I cannot “unshout” my words back. I cannot “unfear” my fears. I can only regret the words. I can ask for forgiveness and move to the change, to the emergency brake valve. Sometimes I think that that valve is rusty and I need some oil to fix it. Yet I find that I am so reluctant, so downright lazy to bring that oil. Oh, gravity! Lord Jesus, move me to holiness, defeat my enemies.