Today was the day when God showed me the brevity of life. I
met Suman (a friend of mine) and we went to T.U. Teaching hospital to see his
younger brother’s wife. She was in the Emergency room. Everyday in that room
costs around 30,000 Nepali rupees. That was a scary sight indeed. A room filled
with people who show almost no signs of life. And here she lies in the corner
bed. Helpless thin body covered with a green blanket. Air pipes, Ivs and 3-4
different size syringes waiting to be injected. The lady lying on bed is 21
years old. Her eyes are half closed so that you can see the whites. The life
support machine keeps beeping. We pray for her once in English. I feel empty. I
then pray second time in Russian and touch her cold hand. Still nothing. Then
we leave the room. Suman and his brother ask my advice on what to do. Doctors
said that they can hold her here for maximum of 3 more days. Brothers ask my
advice on whether it is ok to take her home to Nepaljgunj. I can not hold
myself from tears. Doctor said that she can die today in 2-3 hours. I go back
to my life routine with a deep heaviness.
met Suman (a friend of mine) and we went to T.U. Teaching hospital to see his
younger brother’s wife. She was in the Emergency room. Everyday in that room
costs around 30,000 Nepali rupees. That was a scary sight indeed. A room filled
with people who show almost no signs of life. And here she lies in the corner
bed. Helpless thin body covered with a green blanket. Air pipes, Ivs and 3-4
different size syringes waiting to be injected. The lady lying on bed is 21
years old. Her eyes are half closed so that you can see the whites. The life
support machine keeps beeping. We pray for her once in English. I feel empty. I
then pray second time in Russian and touch her cold hand. Still nothing. Then
we leave the room. Suman and his brother ask my advice on what to do. Doctors
said that they can hold her here for maximum of 3 more days. Brothers ask my
advice on whether it is ok to take her home to Nepaljgunj. I can not hold
myself from tears. Doctor said that she can die today in 2-3 hours. I go back
to my life routine with a deep heaviness.
Now I wonder how doctors feel in the hospitals. They see
death so often. It is like an everyday routine for them. As I find out that my
kids got that and that mark at school, so they each day count the number of
people that came to their hospital, stayed there, payed some money and then
either recovered or passed way. Pass away is a nice euphemism for death. The
word itself cuts our ear. We hate it, we don’t want to hear it, and we feel as
if we swallowed a glass full of ice when it touches us or our close ones. The
chill of death. That’s what I felt today.
death so often. It is like an everyday routine for them. As I find out that my
kids got that and that mark at school, so they each day count the number of
people that came to their hospital, stayed there, payed some money and then
either recovered or passed way. Pass away is a nice euphemism for death. The
word itself cuts our ear. We hate it, we don’t want to hear it, and we feel as
if we swallowed a glass full of ice when it touches us or our close ones. The
chill of death. That’s what I felt today.
And where is the escape? So far the only consolation is
faith in Christ, or the person of Christ Himself who is stronger than death,
who conquered death on the Cross of Calvary. The Gospel which promises the ressurection and
life eternal with Christ and life eternal are the only true hope for
Christians. Right now the only consolation is John Donne’s poetry. Here is the
full poem.
faith in Christ, or the person of Christ Himself who is stronger than death,
who conquered death on the Cross of Calvary. The Gospel which promises the ressurection and
life eternal with Christ and life eternal are the only true hope for
Christians. Right now the only consolation is John Donne’s poetry. Here is the
full poem.
DeathDEATH, be not proud, though some have called theeMighty and dreadful, for thou art not so:For those whom thou think’st thou dost overthrowDie not, poor Death; nor yet canst thou kill me.From Rest and Sleep, which but thy picture be,Much pleasure, then from thee much more must flow;And soonest our best men with thee do go–Rest of their bones and souls’ delivery!Thou’rt slave to fate, chance, kings, and desperate men,And dost with poison, war, and sickness dwell;And poppy or charms can make us sleep as wellAnd better than thy stroke. Why swell’st thou then?One short sleep
past, we wake eternally,And Death shall be
no more: Death, thou shalt die!
John Donne
P.S. That lady died same day. I forgot to say that that was both kidneys failure.